


fall down on the road and get hit by birdpoop

by 10hr10minute



Series: cheollie's angels [2]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-29 02:20:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11431134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/10hr10minute/pseuds/10hr10minute
Summary: a confession gone wrong and an unbelievably unlucky streak later, trust cupids jeonghan and joshua (and their human pal seungcheol) to set right the wrongs(based on the song 넘어져라/ Screw You by Baek A Yeon, incidentally where the title is from)





	fall down on the road and get hit by birdpoop

**Author's Note:**

> \- a fair bit of swears

The cherry blossoms were in full bloom, floating whimsically on the gentle spring breeze like pink snow. 

On the rooftop, a tall boy stood, heel bouncing against the cement uncontrollably, eyes occasionally glancing at his watch. He worried his lips, exposing a long canine.

Creak. The door opened, a sweet smell stirred in the air. 

Canine boy lit up upon noticing the mop of red hair peeking into the scene. But then the next moment he was looking down, fingers laced behind his back, shyness. 

Red hair was looking at him with an expression a mix between expectation and amusement. It was fairly silent, the sounds of life far removed from the two in their private space, on the school roof. 

All or nothing, wasn’t it? Go big or go home. #yolo

Canine boy inhaled, “I have a boyfriend.” 

Next thing he knew, Mingyu was lying on the ground, cheek stinging, and all he could think was, ‘that wasn’t what I wanted to say.’ 

On another roof, a few kilometres away. 

“It’s tragic.” Said Jeonghan, shaking his head. 

“Truly.” Joshua agreed, wrinkling his nose. 

“I do feel kind of bad…” Seungcheol murmured, staring through the binoculars because he didn’t have superhuman vision like his companions. 

“I mean,” Jeonghan continued, “how could Kim Jonghyun not make final 11?!” 

“I know.” Seungcheol concurred out of habit, “wait what?” 

“Exactly, geez, humans just don’t know a good thing when they see one.” Joshua rolled his eyes. 

Eyebrows furrowed, Seungcheol pulled back to face his partners. And of course the two were distracted, crouched in the corner, swiping at something on the phone (Seungcheol’s phone, mind you), gossiping mindlessly. 

“Guys? I thought we were supposed to be doing a job?” 

Jeonghan barely spared him a glance. “Leave it to heavenly power.” 

“You are the heavenly power!” 

Jeonghan tsked, mumbling curses under his breath. 

“Look, their confession was designed to go terribly from the start, it’s like all part of the big picture.” He explained. 

It left Seungcheol a little confused. “Then why did we come here?” Plus, he had to shamelessly go through all his extended family to ask for a pair of binoculars he could borrow for this occasion. Did these cupids not realise how rarely he talked to some of them? 

(Hello? Seungcheol? Erm… no… who… oh, oh yeah I remember now, the kid who cried for hours when we tried to take him out of the ballpark! Binoculars? Whatever would you need them for?) 

Suddenly there was a shriek and a loud honk coming from ground floor, Seungcheol quickly turned to it, leaning over the railing to get a good look. 

And he saw one of his current targets, Mingyu, butt on the floor, face wild with frenzy, a car skidded to a stop just inches from his foot. 

Seungcheol’s jaw dropped. 

“For that.” Joshua replied, finding joy in Seungcheol’s disbelief. 

Jeonghan whistled. “It’s going to be a wild ride.” 

The first order of business was for Seungcheol to get close with Mingyu, quite the standard tactic at this point. 

So Seungcheol bumbled his way over to said boy, just in time as the driver of the car was wrapping up his lecture about road safety. Mingyu bowed repeatedly as he was leaving. 

Sympathising was a good way to initiate conversation. 

“Hey, that was pretty rough, dude.” Seungcheol called out. 

Mingyu tilted his head at the stranger. “It’s just not my day, I guess.” He said meekly. 

“Ahhh I see,” And Seungcheol literally saw. “Look, my house is nearby, you wanna clean up or something.” He was referring to Mingyu’s severely dusted pants. 

Yet for all his intent and purpose, wow, if that didn’t sound mildly inappropriate and extremely shady. 

Which Mingyu was evidently feeling as well, as he quite visibly pondered the dangers of accepting strange offers from strangers. Stay away from the white van, kids. 

Then a little birdie flew by and splat, a spot of colour dirtied the sleeve of Mingyu’s shirt. They both stared incredulously for a beat. Finally Mingyu swallowed. 

“Yes please.” 

* * *

 

Seungcheol soon learnt that Mingyu was a pretty amiable person. After exchanging a few kind words and friendly gestures, it was strangers to acquaintance to buddies, real quick.

And with being friends, Mingyu opened up more about his personal life, eventually addressing the elephant in the room that was really only an elephant to Seungcheol, the tale of Xu Minghao. 

Mingyu talked about the boy in a sulky tone, gazing depressedly at the cup of carrot juice Seungcheol laid out for him (because he was underage). It started as a crush in the first year of highschool, Minghao was the coolest thing Mingyu had ever set his eyes upon, literally backflipping into his life. They were in the same year, same class even, but it seemed like there was nothing between them that they shared in common. Different social circles, different after school activities, different favourite subjects. Up til one fine day, the two of them bumping into each other in the teacher’s office, waiting awkwardly for their homeroom teacher, all shifting weights and heavy tongues. Until Mingyu complimented Minghao’s piercings, surely not school appropriate, and then the two were off like a rocket, finding their common ground in fashion quite unexpectedly. 

“I was going to confess to him, I wanted to do it before the final year, but it didn’t work out.” 

Seungcheol’s heart squeezed. 

“He rejected you?”

Jeonghan and Joshua snickered. 

That combined with Mingyu’s sudden lip biting set off question marks in Seungcheol’s head. “That’s not exactly what happened…” 

An eyebrows raised, expectant. 

“I didn’t actually end up confessing.” 

Which still didn’t explain anything. 

“I might have accidentally said the wrong thing…” 

“How does that happen?” 

Mingyu squirmed. “I was in a state of extreme nervousness. (I can see why) And I was going to ask him to be my boyfriend. (Yes) I have been debating on which line to use as well. (Uh-huh) May I have the honour of being your boyfriend? (Classy) Or maybe, will you be my boyfriend? (Simple and direct) But of course, the most important thing was confidence. (Understandable) So with all that swimming in my head I said, confidently (Of course), I have a boyfriend.” 

Seungcheol blinked as Jeonghan straight up guffawed. 

“That’s…” 

“Silly.” Joshua supplied. 

“Silly.” Seungcheol parroted. 

Mingyu groaned into his hand. “I knoooooow.” 

It was quite a sad sight, Seungcheol found his hand unconsciously reaching to pat encouragingly on Mingyu’s shoulder. “Cheer up, it’s not the end, you can try again.” 

Even though Mingyu sniffled, he had a brightness to his eyes. Or maybe that was the tears, it’s hard to tell. “How? He probably hates me now.” 

“We’ll help you.” Seungcheol insisted harshly. 

“We?” 

Crap.

“As in, I’ll help you. We’ll fix this.” 

* * *

 

That night, Seungcheol was just about to fall asleep when The Thought had occurred to him and he’d bolted upright, startling both Jeonghan and Joshua who were lounging about on his beanbag. 

“Wait, I’ve been thinking-” 

“A dangerous pastime.” Sang Jeonghan. 

“I know.” Finished Joshua. 

“-surely there’s more to this mission than a confession gone wrong. I mean, something just doesn’t add up…” Seungcheol had his face scrunched up, fingers on his chin. 

Jeonghan wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. “Would you look at that, he’s growing wise.” 

That certainly proved the ‘more to this mission’ portion. 

“What did you guys not tell me?” Seungcheol asked, not quite sure he really wanted to know. 

Joshua had the courtesy to glance about nervously at the floor before he spoke up. “Right, so you know of Xu Minghao, right? He’s actually got a really mean guardian angel looking after him.” 

Seungcheol raised an eyebrow. “Meaning…?” 

“The almost car accident, the bird poop.” Jeonghan ticked off his fingers. “That Mingyu guy’s life is only going to get worse the longer Minghao stays upset at him.” 

There was this sinking feeling in his stomach when Seungcheol swallowed and asked, “can’t you guys talk with the guardian angel then? Reach a diplomatic conclusion? You’re seraphim brethren, no?” 

Joshua calmly shook his head. “Unfortunately, it’s not our jurisdiction. Besides, he’s only doing his job. And we have our job to do too.” 

At this point, the sinking feeling had evolved into full submergence. 

“What does this mean for me?” 

Jeonghan hummed. “He really has become wise.” 

Seungcheol didn’t want to remark that with these two it was evolve or die. 

“Think of it this way,” Joshua explained. “To prevent lightning strikes, one may install a lighting rod.” 

The implication struck Seungcheol like a bag of bricks. Or like lightning, for poetry sake. Suddenly there was a lump in his throat. 

As if he could read his mind Jeonghan announced, in a tone somewhat too cheerful for what he was actually saying, “Yup, you’ll be like a misfortune rod!” 

God give him the strength. 

* * *

 

So he was in conversation with Mingyu, trying to play off how he acquired knowledge of both Minghao’s whereabouts and Mingyu’s address, insisting that they head over to Namdaemun Market that very instant.

Having a shred of common sense and self-preservation, Mingyu protested. With a loud sigh, Seungcheol turned puppy-eyed towards Joshua, who mirrored the exhaled before sprinkling his magic pink powder. The next moment, they were on the road, sitting comfortably in the back, on their way to the shopping area. 

“Okay so listen,” Jeonghan had whispered urgently the day before. “We can’t tell what’s going to happen, anything within the scope of ‘vaguely unlucky’ is fair game but if you’re near him then the odds of him being the recipient halves.” 

Halving the probability was not really the most comforting statistic that Seungcheol had ever heard. He had a 50% chance of having a shitty day, and a 50% chance of failing his task so if you asked him, it was a loss either way. 

Beside him, Mingyu was slightly dazed and very compliant, which made for terrible company. And though he could see Joshua sitting on the other side of Mingyu, Jeonghan up in the front taking a nap, the driver couldn’t and so he resolved not to speak to them lest he be branded crazy. 

Which was really terrible when he spent the entire taxi ride fretting for his life. They’d said it could be anything, the only comfort being that it wouldn’t be life threatening, whatever it was, but Seungcheol could think of plenty of petty scenarios on the road. A slew of disagreeable drivers, an impossible penchant for being caught by the red light, pulled aside by traffic police an unnatural number of times. Driving into a irresponsible biker who dashed out of nowhere, too sudden for the driver to react, which resulted in a dent in the fender, and the cyclist would demand money for his injuries, while the taxi driver insisted on monetary responsibilities for the damage caused. 

Really, it could be anything. 

By some miracle, however, they arrive at the stipulated area without a hinge. Seungcheol had to pinch himself in the arm. 

Jeonghan prodded him to remind him of the plan. 

Which was actually just guiding Mingyu to the shop where Minghao was at, then kicking back to watch the magic unfold. 

As they navigated the crowded street - a thousand elbows shoving into his sides, the sweltering heat of people against people pressing way too tangibly into his skin - red signs alerted him of an ongoing sale. That certainly explained the crowd. 

Seungcheol pushed onwards, determined. 

Then a heavy hand fell on his shoulder, effectively stopping him in his tracks. He turned reluctantly and met the face of a fierce looking store owner. 

“Hey, you knocked over my display.” He said in a gruff voice, muscled arm still placed firmly on Seungcheol, locking him in place. 

Surely it was a mistake, Seungcheol bumped into many things that day but he believed he would notice if the thing in question were a white, plastic, non-human mannequin. 

“I think you got the wrong person.” He placed a placating hand on the store owner’s. 

“Are you accusing me of lying?” 

Ah. A newfound understanding sparked in Seungcheol. He was being conned. 

On any other day, he would put his foot down and fight back but as it stood, he was in a hurry so with the most reluctant sigh, he breathed out, “how much?” 

The store owner smiled. “Clever boy. 40,000 won.” 

It was clearly daylight robbery. Seungcheol reached into his back pocket. And it was empty. His entire body froze. When? 

He looked pathetically at the cupids, who looked at each other for a beat then turned back and shrugged. He clearly did pay for the taxi ride...

Patience wasn’t one of the store owner’s virtues. “Well? What’s keeping you, boy?” 

His voice unusually high-pitched, Seungcheol managed to spit out, “Any chance, you’ll take an IOU?” 

A glare. A gulp. 

Then he was off, screaming through the crowded streets, weaving expertly between people, the store owner hot on his heels. 

“Mingyu, get to the shop Andromeda,” Because he still had a sense of duty. “I believe in you!” 

As fate (or a displeased guardian angel) would have it, not 5 minutes later the area was struck by an unexpected downpour, throwing the street in disarray. And although Mingyu did trudge his way to the shop in question, the same cannot be said about Minghao. 

* * *

 

The next attempt was smarter. 

This time, after learning about Minghao’s favourite cafe from Mingyu, Seungcheol (as proxy for Jeonghan) casually suggested they go there and wait for the guy to show up. Then grand apology and boom, a relationship fixed. 

And that’s what they set out to do. One sunny Friday afternoon where, by Mingyu’s memory, Minghao should be free after school yet quite likely to drop by before going for his weekly meeting with some folks from the Chinese society. 

Without the influence of pink dust, Mingyu was notably a lot better to talk to, so they spend the time chatting, where Seungcheol learnt quite a lot about the younger boy. Including the part about Mingyu being somewhat of a naturally clumsy person. 

Okay, so maybe he didn’t learn that last one via words but rather when Mingyu offered to grab an extra serviette only to hook his leg against the table, sending Seungcheol’s searing coffee flying straight into his lap. 

Mingyu was an apologising mess in an instant, but Seungcheol shook it off. “No biggie, small matter.” 

A staff member helpfully came by to point him in the direction of the toilet, passing him towels as well, this shop must see its fair share of spilled beverages. Seungcheol accepted all of this gratefully. 

“At least this means Minghao is likely to be nearby.” Joshua attempted to smile, floating gracefully beside Seungcheol. 

Seungcheol groaned, closing his eyes and rubbing his temple. 

“Seungcheol!” 

‘What now?’ Seungcheol thought, but by the time he opened his eyes, he was looking at the ceiling, the feeling of firm ground sliding from under his feet, and of fucking course. 

Someone else had spilt her drink, a little toddler staring down at him obviously terrified of the reprimanding to come, and Seungcheol stepped right into the puddle. 

There was a flurry of motion, none of which Seungcheol properly registered, he just knew that he had somehow made it to the toilet, and cleaned up. All the while, one of the stall occupants was having a nasty case of explosive diarrhoea, a nasty stink hanging in the air. 

In any case, he eventually made it back to Mingyu at the booth after what must have taken several centuries. The younger male looked slightly guilty. 

“Maybe we should do this another day.” He tried to suggest. 

Hell would freeze over before Seungcheol was willing to give up after all he’d been through. He delivered this sentiment clearly to Mingyu. 

Well, the manager had a different idea in any case, because Seungcheol’s current appearance was ‘causing problems with appetite’. And he all but shoved the duo out the door, where they continued to stand, disbelieving. 

“Maybe we should leave.” Mingyu tugged at his hyung’s sleeve. 

A car zoomed past, sending a spray of water flying at them. Where did the water even come from, it was sunny as hell. Seungcheol coughed as a few droplets entered his mouth. 

“Maybe we should.” He conceded. 

* * *

 

But Seungcheol wasn’t a quitter. In fact, he was quite the opposite. The more difficult a task, the more he stubbornly tried to conquer it. 

So it took a whole week of falling on nothing, blocked off roads, and camping in the dustbin before he was ready to listen to Jeonghan’s Updated Idea. 

Which turned out to be scarily simple. 

“If we can’t move the mountain to the boy, then let’s move the boy to the mountain.” 

“Why didn’t we do that sooner?” Seungcheol demanded through gritted teeth, scrubbing the stench of rubbish from his skin. 

“Well, Minghao’s not as easy to work with.” Joshua said. 

“Big shit, we’re going to have to talk to him now anyway.” 

“Not exactly…” Jeonghan went, all vague and mysterious, the telltale signs that Seungcheol’s not going to enjoy it one bit. 

And true enough Seungcheol found himself wondering, not for the first time, at which point helping these idiots was going to get him into trouble with the law. 

Because he was honest to God, kidnapping a dude under the cover of the night. He’d straight up waited for the boy to be done with his meeting, then with magic that Jeonghan assured was 100% undetectable by mortal means, knocked out the bloke and lugged him over a shoulder, taking off for the park where he’d asked Mingyu to meet him previously. Why, he never thought he’d be this upstanding of a citizen. 

As planned, he deposited Minghao onto a bench (make sure he looks like he’s just sleeping, the cupids cautioned), and slipped behind a bush. 

Minutes later Mingyu’s tall figure could be seen approaching, and Jeonghan snapped his fingers. Minghao’s eyes flew open. He scanned the area in confusion, completely awake and understandably puzzled. Before he could do anything, however, Mingyu entered the scene. 

Just great. 

“Hao?” Mingyu seemed shocked. Shock on Mingyu was always an obvious look, but also mostly endearing. Minghao wasn’t feeling generous today though. 

“No it’s the Ghost of Christmas Past, who else do you think?” 

“Wow, okay, that was uncalled for. Why are you here?” 

“It’s the park. I’m here to look at nature.” Which was a bit of a lie. 

“It’s night.” 

“Nature is nature at any time of the day.” 

Mingyu took a metaphorical step back, but also a literal one. “Look, I’m just surprised to see you here because, well I feel like you’ve been avoiding me since that… incident.” 

“No shit.” Minghao hadn’t thought he was avoiding the other that much though. The other must have been taking steps to avoid him too, avoidance plus avoidance equals more avoidance, basic arithmetic. 

“Yeah about that, I’m-” 

“Look it’s okay, alright, it’s all behind, we can go back to being friends or whatever.” 

“No won’t you listen to me for once.” 

Minghao had been making to leave but boy, this skyscraper was not going to pick a fight and walk away unharmed. “Listen?  _ You _ listen up, punk. You don’t goddamn call someone out to the roof to break the news that you’re taken, that’s a low blow.” 

Mingyu winced. “Well, yeah, it is, but that wasn’t what I was trying to do!” 

“Really now.” An eyebrow raised. “You could have fooled me.” 

“It’s true! I was trying to confess! I actually like you!” 

“Oi panini head, that’s the shittiest confession I’ve ever heard.” 

Eye roll. “Like you get to hear many confessions, you disagreeable quiche... dick.” 

“Fuck you. I can’t believe I like you back, you can’t even insult right.” 

“Irregardless, I have other charms!” 

“That’s true, you have nice skin!” 

“And you have good sense!” 

“You are dependable!” 

“You have nice eyes!” 

“Do you two realise,” a voice foreign to the bickering pair came booming from the general direction of the bushes. “You’ve pretty much both shout-confessed your love to each other.” 

There was a moment of silence. Minghao noting for the first time how silent their surroundings were, and Mingyu turning as red as his partner’s hair in light of the settling realisation. 

“Oh.” Minghao said intelligently. “You like me.” 

It was a wonder Mingyu was still standing when he felt such weakness in his knees. “And… you like me back.” 

“Then why did you say-” 

The embarrassment burned in his cheeks as Mingyu turned to the side, a groan escaping from the deepest depths of his soul. “Would you believe me if I say I was too nervous?” 

Minghao thought for a second. “Not really, it sounds kinda idiotic.” 

Mingyu almost whined. 

“But I’ll accept it. Since I do like you.” 

Unable to hold onto his smile, Mingyu felt his lips quirk upwards. “Then, will you be my boyfriend?” 

Warm air stirred. The leaves rustled in the wind. 

“Of course.” 

 

 

Seungcheol let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. The two cupids by his side were squealing, as they generally did after every successful mission. Finally, after all that trouble, the two were finally together where they belong, Seungcheol had been itching in trepidation the whole time. 

And he was still itching, come to think of it, an uncomfortable buzz at his feet. 

So Seungcheol looked down to find a trail of ants crawling their way up his calves. 

“Bloody hellllllllllll!” He exclaimed, dashing out absently as the cupids giggled. 

**Author's Note:**

> \- ello :)
> 
> \- look, it's not a soonhoon fic WoW
> 
> \- honestly, this is just nonsense, unbeta-ed nonsense no less, so i'm sorry  
> \--- couldn't resist the pd101 jab either, rest assured it's not political
> 
> \- also, i didn't write it but i (headcanon?) the guardian angel as mingming  
> \--- i don't know much about mingming
> 
> \- i'm just going to go, i'm tired, it's 2 in the morning  
> \- @hoziwooshi for anything


End file.
